It's been a long time... but I always come back to you , my dirty little black blog. Ha!


Sometimes I wonder how the hell a bipolar person can have a healthy relationship when "hypersexuality" is a real thing. What's really such a mindfuck is that, I don't enjoy it. I don't enjoy the chemistry flow of emotions and hormones that surge through me as I become a sexual prowess. It's almost like there's a predatory switch that goes off inside of you before you even realize you're doing it. You would think that if you truly love your spouse that means you would never cheat because there is such thing as self control, but its not like that. It's like the longer you hold it inside of you, the more extreme your bipolar gets. You not only need to release this tension that is physically affecting you, pulling you down to the ground because of its weight.. it's gnawing at you like a tick. I guess you can be strong and hope that it passes, that the gnawing will stop even though it could take months. You pray that your prey does something annoying or despicable enough to turn you off, to "wake you up".


 I look for those things. I usually find them.
It's weird because I'm not a sexual person.... Ha! Yeah... I wouldn't believe me either, but its true.