Married waiting for Love

 Time has gone by... so much time... and here i find myself, nostalgic asf. Almost like a secret corner of the world that no one knows about.... 4 kids later, married to an amazing man that doesn't know how to love me genuinely.... Wait, let me explain.... Technically, logically, after 10 years of being together, he knows what i like and what I want, but internally he cannot bring himself to perform those things because they would not be genuine to him. Nothing crazy, just consistently dote on me, tell me I'm beautiful and that you love me every day; kiss me because he missed me when I went to the bathroom.

  So this Romantic sits, waiting like a good puppy for a pat on the head.

Not going to lie, this shit feels whack. I just wanna be recklessly in love for a little while. I want to know what the extreme version of myself looks like. I need that fucking refreshment that I seem to offer to so many people.  I'm not fucking car freshener. I think knowing life is short, makes everything more exciting... It's like, why wait to be extreme? Why wait and be reserved? Why miss out? Why not experience everything to its max if you can, without toxicity if possible.

I'm not a normal human

being though. I dont blame him sometimes. Most times I do though. I'm so in love with my husband, I wish I could express it the way I want. I cant though. I have to wait to see if he is loyal to me. I am scared that he will confirm what I believe. There is a chick at his job, and as much as he says it aint nothing.. It's always nothing until he is apologizing. I might be madly in love with my husband but I love me more.

Guess when he goes back to work from his vacay will see who speaks more, his heart or his dick. Typical fucked up worries for a black woman and a basic nigga who loves a bitch with long hair , light skin and a nice smile. It's embarrassing now. I guess when we were just friends with benefits I didnt give a fuck, now I just look at him with a screwed up face as he shows me typical behaviour. I want exceptional. I am EXCEPTIONAL.

Show me EXCEPTIONAL Goddess