Life and people can be the biggest disappointments we face. They can trigger us into becoming demonic hurricanes.
Personally speaking, I depend on my closest loved ones to be the least of my worries on my trigger list. Unfortunately life does not work that way. Your partner, your family can be the biggest thing to let you down, or hurt you.
You have expectations of your family. You depend on them to hold you down when shit is rough, or to hold you up when you feel at your lowest.
You expect to feel like the most beautiful person in the world with your partner regardless if it's true or not. You expect your partner to build a foundation with you that makes both of you feel secure.
Btw, my "you" is mostly "i".
When you are let down, or when things are off balance especially with the most important people in your life, you are off balance.
Your close circle is your power circle. Honestly though, right now my "power circle" is not as strong as I thought. I find myself trying to be strong inside of my own circle. My self esteem has been put to the test while I was completely off guard.
I am saddened by the struggle and praying to God that this does not escalate into something I do not foresee but I'm trying to fight it even though I am heart broken.