Sometimes I feel trapped in my
inability to be satisfied. People do not satisfy me or maybe my expectation is
beyond the human conditioning. I dont know. It seems others are so simple. the
bare minimum is a feat. How does one not selfishly take command of others.
People in general are so stupid....
I am tired of people. Maybe the idea of ALONE doesnt nee to
be so bad, but it a lifestyle change. To be alone means to no longer invest
feelings in others right? I think that's what I want. I'm tired of being in an
area in life that I have to be vulnerable, I have t be open, I have to be
receptive to toerhs.
Fuck, I'm tired of the feeling of wanting. I'm tired of
wanting to feel noticed. I dont want to be those women who have settled into
unfilfilling marriages They are no longer sexual beings, they are just their
spouse's favorite pillow.
I would rather be alone than to yearn for something I will
never recieve. I feel hurt, I feel angry. I feel trapped inside myself. I'm
exhausted with the feeling of it all/ I'm overwhelmed by the feeling of my
space being invaded. I'm annoyed that Om in a rlationship and feel so alone.
Not tht I need anyone, but please just let me close up and
be to myself then. But thats not what i signed up for either... fuck.
i just want a reason to feel as if my efforts are worth
something....
